What Iko's Watching Tonight

Well, we have some F-ing TV tonight, don't we? Who's excited? Only me? OK, no worries, I'll tell you what I'm watching tonight anyway.

8:00 pm - CBS - "The Big Bang Theory"

Yes, I wrote about this show before, and while I think it has it's issues, it also has a lot going for it. For one, it's one of two shows on CBS that is actually good. For two, Sheldon is hysterical, science/nerd humor is always funny, and I'm still waiting with baited breath for Raj to be able to actually speak to women without being inebriated. I'm excited to see where the writers take this show over the season and look forward to watching it (who am I kidding, probably TiVoing it, "Chuck" starts next week!!!).

8:30 pm - CBS - "How I Met Your Mother"


When we last left off, Ted proposed to Stella (spoiler alert: she says yes) and Barney realized he hearts Robin. While I could really care less about Stella and Ted (Sarah Chalke irritates me in a way that is so horrible, that I lack the verbal capacity to articulate it, plus Ted is infinitely more fun when he's acting like a jackass with Barney), I'm SUPER excited about Robin and Barney. I don't know why, maybe it's because, oh, NPH is made of awesome? Plus, I think the two of the have the best dynamic of any two characters on the show...hell, of any characters on most TV shows currently airing. I'm extremely excited for the premiere tonight and can't wait to see where the characters go this season.

9:00 pm - FOX - "Prison Break"

Ugh. I know. But, this show is like crack for me, plus, to be fair, it has gotten A LOT better this season, at least compared to seasons 2 and 3 (this show will never be better than it was in season 1, I'm sorry). This season has already started, we're into the 4th episode tonight (already!) and the guys (and suddenly alive Sara) find themselves trying to find Scylla, basically a bunch of cards that have data on the always evil "Company" stored on them. So far, it's been a highly entertaining hunt - Michael appears to have brain cancer (yet, Wentworth Miller's still hot), Lincoln's smashing anything he can get his hands on and killing bitches left and right, and Mahone's going to take down that man-ho who killed his son. I'm literally on the edge of my seat waiting for that showdown to happen. Oh, it's going to be good times, just you wait.

Also, I'll probably be watching some football, too, I have to see if L.T. will actually get me any fantasy points this week. Probably no baseball, though, the Yankees aren't playing tonight and I'm kind of emotionally drained from the spectacle that was yesterday's farewell to the stadium. Just seeing Bernie pretty much did me in, let alone his adorable post-game interview with Michael Kay on YES. God, I love him. Bernie, not Michael Kay.

And, on a marginally related note (because it has to do with baseball, more specifically this post), I have a little "good news, bad news" to report. Good news - I have photographic proof and (reliable) second-hand information that Brett Gardner is, in fact, straight. Bad news - his girlfriend/wife is clearly pregnant. I'll post photographic evidence when I get home. So, sadly, Iko has no shot at becoming Gardner's baby mama, because you know I'm not settling for second baby mama. But, strong work on having a child, Gardner!

ZOMG!!!! Bernie!!!!

(My apologies in advance - this blog post is being fueled by perfect gin and tonic, two glasses of wine, the girlish squeeing that can only occur when I see Bernie F-ing Williams in centerfield at Yankee Stadium for the last time, the joy in my heart I feel when I read that Stephen Colbert has won his precious Emmy, and the vision of Bobby Murcer's family striding out to centerfield, only to be greeted by said Bernie Williams two minutes later. Sufficed to say, this entire post makes no sense. Just look at the pretty pictures and pretend I'm not insane).

Bernie!!! 51!!!! He's at the Stadium!!! I'm so excited, I'm thrashing about on my couch alone!!! I heart you Bernie!!!!

Also, he totally looks like he could still play...just sayin'.

And, the entire stadium chanting Bobby Murcer was amazing!

OK, also, bring out Babe Ruth's daughter to throw out the last first pitch at Yankee Stadium - brilliant!

Edited to add: Here's an awesome article with some quotes from Bernie about his return.

Edited to add 2: I'm trying to find pictures of Bernie's return to The Stadium, but there are NONE as of yet...I can't believe it. I'd ghetto-style it and take a picture of my TV with my camera, but, unfortunately, I don't have my camera as SOMEONE took it with him to the actual game...

Edited to add 3: Also, non-Yankee related, but ZOMG!!!!!! Stephen Colbert Emmy!!!

Also not Bernie/Yankees related: Jon Stewart and "The Daily Show" for the win at the Emmys!!!

Edited to add 4: Here's a picture of Dave:

I can't believe they have a picture of Dave and NONE of Bernie. WTF? Although, I will say, Dave looks like he could still play, too...

Edited to add 5: This picture makes me happy:


Edited to add 6: OK, Getty Images, if you're not going to post any pictures of Bernie from the pre-game ceremonies today, I'll post random pictures you have of him from assorted concerts he played earlier this year:



And this random picture of him from the 2003 ALDS;


Edited to add 7: I MUST give a shout out to my girl, Tine Fey, for winning Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy for the delightful "30 Rock,"

Edited to add 8:
Finally, a picture of Bernie from tonight...

And a lovely article, too. Yes, Bernie DOES belong among the Yankee greats!!

Last Edited to Add, I promise...we're on #9 already?


And another article, from NYT.

Brett Gardner Post of the Day

Today (well, I guess yesterday) was clearly Brett Gardner's day. A brilliant play in centerfield, an RBI double, the adoration of a large number of Yankee fans, AND the love of Iko. What more could he (or, really, anyone else) ask for? Click here to watch an awesome play in centerfield. Perhaps one of the best since Bernie. I'm so excited to actually be loving the Yankees centerfielder right now, and hopefully, I'll be able to, for many, many seasons to come. And, just so you all can think I have more mental problems, check out what I purchased last night:

Yes, it's true. I am the only person, aside from Brett's parents and girlfriend (or boyfriend, I won't be so presumptuous to assume he's straight, although I hope he is or else I have no shot at becoming his baby mama) to own a Brett Gardner Yankees T-shirt.

The Bernie Willams Post of the Day

Happy 40th Birthday Bernie! You may not be the best Yankee (as viewed by some), but you're my favorite Yankee, and, since it's my blog, I'm the only one who matters. Remember when you ran away from me in Toronto 5 years ago? I'm sure you don't, but I still heart you and will continue to further one of my quests in the world - to have one person, other than myself, acknowledge that you are the greatest Yankee ever!

(photo from NYT)

Updated to add a link to this article about Bernie coming back to Yankee Stadium.

Brett Gardner

OK, here it is. The replacement for Bernie Williams as a current favorite Yankee. Brett Gardner. No seriously. Bernie is still my favorite Yankee ever...but, he's not on the team anymore (sad face), so I need someone else to stalk and obsess over...



He was the hero of last night's game, but even before that, I like his speed, his awesomely long at-bats, and his general youthfulness and confidence. I will now be fashioning a Brett Gardner T-shirt out of an old Gary Sheffield one.

Plus, how can you NOT love this awesomely bad 80's-style baseball card?

It's absolutely brilliant in an incredibly bad way. I love it. Anyone know where I can pick one up? The Bernie Williams card in my wallet is getting lonely...

Things Other People Have Bought for Me That I Love

So, it was my birthday last week and I got lots of good stuff, including some of the items below. Thanks to all the peeps who helped me celebrate! It was a lot of fun and I appreciate you all trekking to ghetto NB to help me celebrate! post of delicious food on Friday night to come! Here's our Birthday TablesKape:


And here are some lovely things other people bought for me, that I love (some birthday and some not).

1. Wii and games!

My brother got me Wii for Christmas, but by the time it arrived, it was more as an early birthday present. But, OK, seriously, how can you NOT have fun when playing Wii games? It's brilliant. It's like you're actually bowling, but as a cartoon version of yourself (or Bernie Williams, or Stephen Colbert...whatever Mii you choose to make). And, yes, I have made my Ed Helms Mii, only it needs some work, it doesn't quite look like him. Maybe the "Ed Helms Post of the Day" will help inspire me. I also got a bunch of games, including "Cooking Mama," Zelda, and Beach Games (it has Bocce!!!!), and will hopefully be getting Mario Kart soon. Yes, Mario Kart was played at my birthday party, and yes, it may be the most awesome game ever made. I suck, but at least it's fun! My only concern is my lack of being able to do any work now, since I'll be distracted by the Wii-ing. At least there isn't much TV to watch over the summer...I can practice for a potential Wii tournament in the Fall.

2. Le Creuset Blue Teapot

(imagine it's blue)
My love for Le Creuset, much like my love for Ed, has been well documented. Thus, it seems only fitting that two awesome people would buy me this awesome teapot for my birthday! It matches my other blue Le Creuset cookware and looks fancy on my bootleg stove. Perhaps one day it will look even fancier on my Viking 48" Dual Fuel Range. Which will sit outside, on the street, next to the cardboard box in which I will be forced to live, in order to afford such a magnificent piece of culinary craftsmanship.


3. Miniature Hello Kitty Doll

Except mine is wearing a kimono and not holding a stupid purse. It's mini and cute and sits on my couch with me as I watch TV. I mean, I like giant stuffed animals as much as the next girl, but I also like things that don't clutter up my apartment and make me seem like a craze-Mariah-Carey-esque Hello Kitty fan. This shows my love of HK while still being small enough to hide away, you know, should Ed stop by and casually mention that he hates Hello Kitty.

4. Bernie Williams Statue
(I can't find a picture anywhere...apparently the Bernie Williams statuette is not in high demand on Ebay, or, everyone loves their's SO much, they can't bear to part with it).
Technically, the statue was not bought for me, but a ticket to a Yankees game was. Actually, two Yankees tickets were bought for me. I excitedly went to a Yankees game with BMG, doubly excited as it was Bernie Williams Statuette giveaway day, but we had to wait for our companions outside of the stadium before entering, as they had our tickets. As game time approached, I became more and more afraid that I would miss out on my beloved Bernie. Luckily, BMG came to my rescue and bought me a ticket to get inside the stadium to retrieve my precious prize. By the time I got Bern, headed back outside, and met up with my peeps to go back inside for the game, all the Bernies were gone. Ha! Who's the big winner? Yeah, I held onto it all night, to make sure none of the other douche bags at the stadium took him away from me. Although, I guess Steinbrenner took him away from me anyway. Or maybe it was old age.

So, the moral of the story here is always arrive early on Yankees stadium giveaway nights or bring BMG to pay for an extra ticket.

And those are the things other people have bought for me that I love - birthday edition!

And now, the Yankees

The battle of the old guys: Dave Winfield vs. Bernie Williams.

Yes, I know BMG, shut it: Dave Winfield is the only person ever to be drafted into three different professional sports after college (MLB - San Diego Padres, NBA - Atlanta Hawks, and NFL - Minnesota Vikings), thereby making him the BEST ATHLETE EVER. Especially since he didn't even play football in college.


Clearly, he's incredibly large and would probably beat you into submission if you chose not to like him. Also, his legs are the actual size of tree trunks.

Career Stats:
Average - .283
hits - 3110
RBI - 1833
HR - 465
12 All-star appearances
7 Gold Gloves
1 World Series win
Total Games - 2973

But, then there's Bernie Williams. So cute. So nice. He plays the acoustic guitar, ladies...plus, All-Star center fielder, beautiful swing, long, long, legs (they seem to extend out of his chin!). And, he looks like this:


And this:

(Look at that swing)

Career Stats:
Average - .297
Hits - 2336
RBI - 1257
HR - 287
5 All-star appearances
4 Gold Gloves
4 World Series wins
Total Games - 1925

You know what, Dave does have better numbers, but he played in 1000 more games than Bern. Dave's All-Star appearances are impressive, but so are Bernie's 4 World Series Wins and overall post-season performance. Bernie has an album...can you say that about Dave? Bottom line, I just like Bernie more...I always have and always will. Therefore, you should like him more, too.

Need more convincing? Would you ever choose to love a baseball player wearing this:


Does he really think he's going to play baseball while wearing snow shoes and what appears to be a whole polar bear carcass he killed (with his bare hands) and draped jauntily around his neck, just before the photograph was taken?
That is all.

Stephen Colbert Post of the Day - Part Three of a Three Part Series

This is my favorite of the three. First, because it's the reason we all went to DC in February and, second, because his lip syncing is SPOT ON. Seriously. I think some of the pop "stars" out there need a lesson from Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA.



On an unrelated side note - baseball's BACK!! What up mofos? Be prepared for smack talking, Yankee lovin' and straight-up Red Sox bashing! Number 27, here they come! Go Matsui! Bring Bernie back!