I Stalked Spike in DC and So Can You!!

So, I went to DC last weekend for a brief vacation. Clearly, for me, the main reasons to go were to find Stephen Colbert's portrait (it's been moved from the National Portrait Gallery where I saw it last time) and to eat a lot of good food. Both were accomplished:



Stephen is now in the American History Museum on the Mall, on third floor just outside the entertainment exhibit. It was pretty awesome to see the portrait some prominently displayed in the museum, rather than in the inglorious location next to the bathrooms, above the water fountains:



although this space looks pretty lonely without Stephen's stern face looking down upon the masses.

Aside from going to a bunch of the museums, we wanted to eat at a few new places, too. Clearly, Jaleo was a no brainer, due to the assortment of delicious meats available:





(that's hanger steak with piquillo peppers, the unparalleled Jamon Iberico, and garlic shrimp with sauteed snow peas with romesco sauce in the background - from top to bottom).

Also on the dining menu were Cafe Mozart, a lovely German restaurant in the back of a small German market on H Street, near 13th and Potenza, an Italian place also on H by 15th. Both were good (Potenza was a little trendy, but delicious) and good additions to the restaurants we will frequent often on future trips to DC. For lunch we went to Potbelly's for sandwiches one day, always good, and Good Stuff Eatery the other.

Yes, that's right. Good Stuff Eatery. Like Spike Mendelsohn from "Top Chef" season 4's restaurant. Like douche-hat's restaurant. Spike, the one chef mercilessly hounded by everyone on the interwebs for his douchey attitude and general ridiculous/cocky behavior. And his poor choice of head wear. Repeatedly bashed by yours truly. That Spike. And you know what? I'm sorry I said anything bad about him.

When we got there, the place was packed. We got online and immediately saw Spike behind the counter, working hard expediting, right alongside all the other people working there. I wanted to say something to him but he was so busy, I felt badly interrupting him while he was working, espeically since they were so busy, so we just placed our order and I went to find a table upstairs while BMG waited for the food. If you look really hard in the background, you can see Spike with his hat on the line:


We had to wait a while for our food, since it was so busy and everything is cooked to order, but we finally got our food:


Bacon Cheeseburger


Turkeyburger and fries


Chocolate shake

All were delicious. The turkeyburger (mine) was so well seasoned and all the toppings (I got everything on it - avocado, munster, "good stuff" sauce) worked so well together. The fries were a bit on the non-crispy side for my liking, but the flavor was awesome. The chocolate shake was fabulous and I'm guessing the bacon cheeseburger was good, since BMG polished that bad boy off without any problems. And, one would think that was the end of the story - see Spike, eat his food, leave Spike's restaurant and go see the Capitol.

Oh no, it gets so much better. While we were eating, Spike came upstairs to sit with business partner (?) - I only think this because she came out of a secret room upstairs and started talking to two people, who turned out to be Food Network (!!) producers. Right at the next table. I started to silently freak out and tried to figure out how I could get a picture with him, without rudely interrupting his conversation. Why would you want to take a picture with him, Iko? After all the bashing? Because of BW and this text conversation:

Iko: I'm at Good Stuff Eatery = douche hat Spike's burger place!! Douche hat is here!!
BW: No way!!! Pics please! OMG! You need a pic for your blog!
(then a bunch of useless conversation happened)...
BW: Is douche hat Anderw there? (Aside 1: HAHAHAHA, nice memory, BW!)
Iko: Ha! N, I wish! But, Spike is wearing his douchey hat!
(10 minutes later)
Iko: He's sitting right next to me talking to some Food Network producers about challenging Michael Symon on Iron Chef!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Aside 2: OK, I was really freaking out here)
BW: OMG! OMG!
BW: I'm jealous of your hobnobbing with douchey Food Network stars! (Aside 3: strong use of hobnobbing)

At this point, Spike had left to go downstairs and make some burgers for the two producers, the Obama burger and the Smokehouse burger. I was clearly upset as I had missed my chance at a picture while he was leaving to go downstairs, due to my shyness/inability to talk to people when they appear to be busy. But, just as we were about to leave, Spike returned with the burgers for the producers. He deposited them on their table and talked with them for a minute, then turned to leave - so I jumped up and cornered him! And asked if I could take a picture with him, but only if he wasn't too busy. And you know what? He was awesome. He joked about being too busy to take the picture, then totally posed with me. And, he even went on to make sure we liked the food, asked what we had, and talked with us a bit about where we were from and how we were liking DC. Seriously, I take back my comments about his douchiness from my "Top Chef" recaps. All of them. I still agree that he was extremely not-right in the highly edited show Bravo showed up, but will posit that this is perhaps not what his actual personality is like. Maybe he's mellowed in his douchiness or maybe he was just in a good mood because he's going to be on "Iron Chef," but I believe he's quite charming and pleasant. And I'm happy his business is doing so well.



Success! I have now sunk to a new low - stalking sub-moderately famous people from Bravo Reality TV. For my next trick, I'll find some of those "Real Housewives of NJ" ladies and go for cocktails with them.

Worst Episode of "Top Chef" Ever

Yeah, I'm not going to get to write up last night's debacle until tomorrow, but I wanted to let you all know that I think it sucked. Big time. WTF WAS that? The only redeeming quality was Carla winning and making that touchdown motion in her interview. Jeff going home was awful (who will I leer at now?), Leah not going home was even more awful, Fabio rambled about monkey ass again, and the "All-Stars" Bravo brought back were clearly the only former contestants desperate enough to come back to the show, not anyone actually worth tuning in for. Spike, his douche-hat, and Andrew? Come on. Josie and Andrea? Please. The other ones I don't even remember 12 hours later? Whatever. Josie and Spike torturing the crawfish? Almost made me vomit. The Quaker Oats sponsored Quickfire? Possibly worse that the one sponsored by Diet Dr. Pepper.

Also, I think Ariane forgot her pants. And why is Stephen Starr such and A-hole?

To Whet Your Appetite for the Tuesday Tirade

Why was I cut off by a man driving a red Miata on my way to work this morning? With the top down? While wearing an ear-warmer-thingy? It's early morning in October in NJ - put up the stupid top on your car and stop acting like a douchebag. No one wants to see you in your car that badly.

Also, to the douche-hat in front of me in line at Chipotle - take out your F-ing bluetooth earpiece if it will interfere with you paying for your food in a timely fashion and remove your sunglasses from the BACK (yes, BACK) of your shirt. You look like an idiot.

Apparently You Don't Have to Know How to Cook Rice to Go to Puerto Rico: Top Chef Season 4 - Episode 12

(shout-out to MD for the title!)
Well, the debacle that was "Restaurant Wars" is over. It was clear who would win, it was more clear who would lose, and it was not so clear why one of the most talented chefs of the season was sent home (also my personal favorite), while, inexplicably, douche-hat and bitch-face remain. Who went home tonight? Who remains? The final four of this culinary smackdown were determined tonight, let's find out who they are...

Opener -
Nothing really exciting happened, except that Stephanie interviewed that she was excited there are so many girls left in the competition, which I thought indicated that a girl was going home. Apparently the Bravo editing team pulled one over on me.

Quickfire -
Go to Allen Brothers and cut meat. That's what she said. Alright, straight up, I LOVE this Quickfire. Not as much as the relay race, but butchering is such and important skill for a chef to have, so to actually MAKE the chefs fabricate their own product is brilliant. I was a little upset about the huge amount of waste some of the chefs produced, I mean, come on guys, a poor cow had to die, the least you can do is treat it with respect. That said, I will begrudgingly admit that Spike actually (pleasantly) surprised me with his mad butchering skills. As a bonus, we had a dual Quickfire, in which the chefs had to bring their meat (TWSS) with them to the Top Chef kitchen and cook it to a perfect medium rare. Again, awesome - a perfectly relevant test of the skills a chef should have. I was a little concerned at first that no one actually ate the steaks, but once the Quickfire was over, the chefs got to eat their delicious meat. Spike really owned the whole challenge and I'm glad he won, he deserved it, even if his attitude is crappy. Clearly he knows his way around a piece of meat (say it with me now).

Elimination Challenge -
I love this challenge. I think it's the best one yet. Seriously. They took all the skills a chef running a restaurant should have and melded them together into a delicious stew of mad-skillery. First, design two dishes based on the ingredients in the walk-in. Something chefs do everyday. Next, just cook their dishes and fire them when appropriate. Again, exactly what chefs do everyday. Perfect. Finally, make the dish taste good and make it appropriate for the restaurant's clientele. Steakhouse. Make steaks and rich side dishes. I think everyone did well, with the exception of Spike inexplicably poor choice to use frozen scallops. Even I know not to use them. or at least not sear them. What about a mousse? A soup? Something where texture's not that important. Come on now, Spike. Let's see what you're made of - change your game plan midway through.

Some favorite happenings:
1. Before they got to the restaurant, Richard cleaning up the Top Chef house with a giant garbage bag with a perfectly placed GLAD logo directed at the camera. Do Glad Bags actually have logos on them? Curses, Gladware, you've made me curious enough to go buy a box of bags to see if they do. Strong product placement.

2. Tom's face during the Sniff and Sneer when he found out Spike was using those awful scallops.

3. Tom's reaction to the peanut butter mashed potatoes. Interesting sidebar - when Lisa says she made them before, at another restaurant, does that mean she's just lifting other chef's ideas and foisting them upon the judges? Is she this season's Ilan?

4. Speaking of douchebags. Ilan showing up and acting more douchey than usual (the comment about head shaving made me throw up in my mouth a little, seriously, what the hell is his problem. Why would you voluntarily remind people of how awful you are?). And what the F was up with his glasses and gay-ass T-shirt? You're at a nice steakhouse, dude, try to dress appropriately. They even got Harold to dress up.

5. Speaking of Harold, here is a direct transcript of my notes when I saw him: "HAROLD!!!! Eeeeeek! SQUEEEE!" (could he be anymore adorable?)

6. When Tom announced he was expediting. Ha! He'll kick their asses!

As far as the individual food goes, Stephanie's looked and sounded the best to me. Come on, crispy sweetbreads and a giant steak with wild mushrooms and salsify puree? What's not to love? Antonia's salad sounded good, but isn't it kind of what she made before for Sam, the sexy salad man? I can't believe the judges didn't call her out about making the same thing twice. I mean, it's good, but show your range. That said, her steak also sounded delicious, as did the famed gratin. Richards appetizer was by FAR my favorite thing any of the chefs made, though. Hamachi? Crispy sweetbreads? Avocado? Yuzu? SOLD, mother F-er!! Sold! I can only imagine the taste and texture that came along with that dish. I kind of want to make it, but I'll most likely fail miserably and be sad I wasted 30K on cooking school.

The two losers - Spike and Lisa, honestly, I don't know what to say. Spike's steak looked really good, but I still don't know why he kept on with those scallops. I guess once you have your mind made up, it's hard to change, but this is for the final four and Puerto Rico, pull out all the stops. As for Lisa, I like the idea of a giant prawn appetizer, but why you would choose to chill something covered with fat is beyond me. I think even an 8-year old child would know the fat would congeal into an unappetizing and disgusting mass.

Judge's Table -
It was interesting, that's all I can say. I cannot believe Spike called out Tramonto like that. Bad move, dude. I always knew you were a douche-hat, but I didn't think you'd start insulting the judges, especially the one whose kitchen you just used and whose customer's you just served. I was really happy with the decision to give Stephanie the win, she definitely deserved it, as both her dishes were the best and she worked calmly, cleanly, and most importantly, didn't insult anyone along the way. Plus, her prize was pretty cool, although hopefully the appliances work better than they allegedly did last season. It was adorable when her, Antonia, and Richard started dancing around in the Stew Room after they knew they were going to Puerto Rico. That must have been one of the best feeling in the world. As far as Spike's knifing, he needed to go, but Lisa needs to go more. I don't even know if she's that great a cook. Everything she makes is underseasoned (even though she has an "amazing palate," Padma?) and she just looks pissed all the time. You can't have a top chef that refuses to accept criticism. How can you grow as a chef if you think everyone's opinion about your food is wrong?

Next week: Lisa cuts her hair to look more like Richard! Seriously, I thought they were just showing him excessively! Puerto Rico looks beautiful! Someone may severely injure themselves hacking apart hunks of meat!

The Douche-hat is Gone!

Spike was knifed! The final four is complete! Praise the baby Jesus!

More coherent thoughts to come...

ETA: Ugh...I took copious notes last night during the show, so I could blog about them while at work today. Unfortunately, I seem to be unable to use the "Save as Draft" function in Blogger correctly, so I don't have my notes at work. I know you're all waiting on the edge of your seat for my brilliant recap of the episode, so I apologize. I'll write it up tonight and post it as soon as I can. In the meantime, know that this episode has somewhat restored my faith in "Top Chef" and reaffirmed my hatred of Ilan and, in fact, all of season 2. The only way this episode could have possibly been better is if Spike AND Lisa had both been booted and they brought Dale back.

She Made Bacon and Gets to Go to Italy - "Top Chef" Season 4, Episode 5

Well, overall, not such an interesting episode. More catering? Boring. No real drama (until the end, I'll get to that)? Boring. The palate challenge? Already been done. Zoi (spoiler alert) going home - AWSE!

Quickfire:
I *heart* Ming Tsai, all the way from "East Meets West" on Food Network, you know, before it sucked, and I absolutely adore his food. I want to go eat at his restaurant so, so badly, and just order everything and roll around in it. And, probably eat it, too, preferably before I roll around in it. That said, he didn't really look that hot. His face was kind of bloated and don't even get me started on his hair. I think he's an attractive man, but, come ON "Top Chef," did you spend too much money on Padma's ridiculous wardrobe last season, you can't afford make-up people for your guest chefs?


While I think it's kind of lame that they redid a Quickfire Challenge from last season, I actually do like the blindfolded palate test. Ming is completely right, you need to have a highly trained palate to be able to make good food. I think it's something chefs really struggle with. it's impossible to taste every kind of food in the world, especially more than once for some things. It's relatively easy to cover up bad ingredients and I think, as a result, people (chefs included) never get a sense of what a good quality product tastes like. I know I have a horrible palate, after years of cooking and culinary school, I still can barely season things properly. I don't know that I'd be able to distinguish the good and the bad caviar. And I would be incredibly embarrassed. And that is why I am not on "Top Chef." But this isn't about me, let's move on with the episode, shall we?

The Quickfire was rather uneventful, although I was surprised Stephanie did as poorly as she did. I can definitely see nerves would play a huge roll, so I'm willing to cut her some slack. Antonia winning, clearly she has a good palate, still don't think she's a TOP chef, though. It's always nice to see someone new get immunity, though, so the other, stronger candidates have to really cook during the elimination challenge. I have to be honest, though, I was really distracted by Padma's voiceovers for the entire Quickfire. Why were they at a completely different volume than the rest of the show? Like, at least try to get the volume right, editors...come on. It was actually jarring to my poor, sensitive ears, why is Padma yelling at me?

Elimination Challenge:
Ming, won my heart even more, by directly relating the Quickfire Challenge to the Elimination Challenge, telling the chefs that he wanted simple, clean dishes, which comes directly from the palate. Strong work, Ming! Most guest chefs have no clue how the challenges relate to one another. Oh, that's right, it's probably because they don't relate to one another. Just developed to bring as much ridiculously staged drama as possible. Also, I may have missed it, but what do Earth, Air, Water, and Fire have to do with Meals on Wheels?*

The teams were all fine and the actual cooking was uneventful, with the exception of three things, in my opinion.

1. I did kind of take issue with Antonia refusing to go along with her team's idea about the soup. If you have immunity, you should shut the eff up and do whatever your team wants. They're the ones who will go home if the food sucks. It doesn't matter if you think the idea is crappy, suck it up, act like a sous chef, and power-through. The worst part about it? I actually agreed with Spike (WTF was up with his hat?? Seriously? That's how you want to look on TV?) on this point, when he interviewed that Antonia should have taken a backseat, I was like, wow, I can't believe I agree with that douche hat.
2. Lisa dropping the F-bomb every other word? Comedy Gold. Doubled because of Dale's bitchiness about it. The only way Dale's bitchiness would have been better is if he'd been stuck on the team with the lesbian couple. Three lesbians on one team? Made of win.
3. Richard kissing Tom's ass during the sniff and sneer, and Tom having no part of it was hands down the laugh-out-loud moment of the show. Tom looked so confused at first, then broke out his trusty smirk. Richard looked so defeated that his "charm" was having no effect on Tom. Maybe Tom doesn't like your faux hawk, Richard. Maybe he saw the salmon being cooked sous vide and vomited in his mouth a little bit. Maybe he wishes you'd shut the eff up and spent more time taking the scales off the fish.

Overall, the whole cooking section was pretty uneventful - I still think there are too many people to get a sense of how good they are. All we know so far: Dale is bitchy, Lisa makes Asian food, Stephanie wins a lot but has a crappy palate, there are some lesbians (mostly because Bravo keeps shoving it down our throats - TWSS), Andrew is on crack (not so much this episode), Spike is a douche bag, Antonia has immunity, Ryan has cute dimples, but may have an IQ of 85, Richard is a molecular gastronomist who has stupid hair, and there are some other people flying under the radar, most have douche-y hair and all annoy me.

Plating and Serving:
The shrimp and bacon go over well (yum), the Earth and Water dishes kind of suck. Spike interviews with a new douche-y hat. The sous vide salmon looked horrible, very mushy. In retrospect, maybe Richard was trying to add some drama and texture by leaving the crunchy scales on the fish. The rest of it didn't seem to fit, either. The salad? How does that relate to water? The parsnip puree with vanilla? Again, water? The Earth team's dish seemed weird, too. Rosemary with raw beef? Underseasoned food overall? I don't know. How are some of these people on the show? I mean, I'm not like, "whatever guys, I could do so much better," but, I'd at least salt my food.

Judge's Table:
Again, really, really distracted by Ming's horrible hair. It looks like he styled it with the unrendered duck fat from Team Air's duck breasts. Team Fire definitely deserved to win, although I don't know that Lisa deserved the trip more than the rest of them. Dale was so bitchy when she won...his face was priceless. He probably won't let that go for the rest of the season. I wish there was some way they all could have won, I really think it was a good team effort, everyone contributed equally, from conceptualizing the dish, all the way through the cooking.

Team Water was clearly in the bottom. Scales on the mushy fish? They should just send the whole team home for that. I loved when Tom asked what the parsnip was supposed to do. Um, I think it's supposed to be eaten, right? What would he like it to do? A dance? Administer Prozac to Andrew? Wash Ming's hair?

Team Earth**, also clearly in the bottom. Underseaonsed food is a rookie mistake and nothing these chefs should be doing. Again, they should have sent the whole team home. In fact, I got really excited when Tom said he wanted to send Zoi AND Spike home. That would have been awse! The double elimination is always so unexpected and drama-filled.

As far as the actual knifing, Zoi definitely deserved to go home, but Spike should be thanking his lucky stars here. Two weeks in a row he deserved to go home, too, yet was inexplicably saved by the judges. They must really see something we're not getting at home...maybe his charisma doesn't transfer through the TV. Or, maybe they just want to see what stupid hat he'll come up with next. As for the drama after Zoi left, I won't say much about it, except that I think the producers edited two completely different fights together. I don't even know if they occurred on the same day. It was so choppy and random. I felt bad for Jenn after Zoi left, that has to suck, and it probably wasn't so nice for no one to be sympathetic about it (at least from what the choppy editing showed us), but she had to know it would happen. Zoi was clearly out of her league, although I'm sure she's a pretty decent cook, regardless. The Dale-Lisa fight came out of no where and Antonia-Spike, whatever. Antonia's right, she's on tape saying (piss-i-ly) that she would make soup. At any rate, I wish they'd just show the food and the cooking, not all the drama...I guess some people like it, but I'd rather see them cooking than throwing chairs and drinking excessively. But that's just me.

Next Week:
Dale and Lisa fight. Dude, whatever, Lisa could take you down, Dale, watch it. They cater (again) a Football game and prove they know nothing about sports. Spike and New Zealand guy have a man-love moment in a bubble bath. Nikki's food gets tossed in the garbage - it's about time. Bitch is going home.

*Thanks, Beth, for informing me that "The Elements" was the actual theme of teh event. That makes much more sense now. I'm glad one person's paying attention...
**Yeah, I realized I want to add here, it was total BS when the judges said a soup would have been perfect or whatever. There is NO EFFING WAY they would have won with soup. I can hear the comments now:
Tom: "It takes three people to make a soup? You spent two and half hours making soup? This is "Top Chef" not "Top Soup Maker."
Padma: "The soup was delicious."
Gail: "I was overwhelmed by the rosemary in your earthy soup. I don't think soup is a complex enough dish for these, highly refined, palates."
Ming: "No self-respecting chef would take two and a half hours to make a soup and serve it to a group of diners expecting a highly refined first course. None of you are as good as I am. Now someone get me more gel."

Also, remember to watch new episodes of "30 Rock" and "The Office" tonight!

"Top Chef - Block Party" - Where everyone wears douche-y hats

At first, I thought this was going to be the inevitable, ubiquitous, let-the-women-complain-about-the-kitchen-being-a-boy's-club episode. Come on, guys, you thought it was, too. All the ladies complaining in the beginning about two women being sent home in a row. How hard it is for a woman in a kitchen. How rare it is to have more than one woman in a restaurant kitchen. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be anti-women in restaurant kitchens, I think people should get to work wherever they want, without prejudice. But, that said, if you're going to work in a restaurant, you have to be aware going in as a woman, that it will be difficult. Don't complain about it. You're on "Top Chef." Clearly, you're doing something right.

Anyway, onto the episode. The Quickfire was good, I really like Rick Bayless and, having eaten at Frontera Grill, I know his food is really tasty. His choice in shirts, however...

As soon as Erik went off on his rant about Mexican food and fine dining not going together, I knew we were in for a treat (plus, douche-y hat of the night #1 made an appearance). At first, I was like, "Yo, douche bag, why are you talking smack about Mexican food? Do you really think there are NO fine dining restaurants in Mexico? Or fine dining establishments that serve Mexican food?" But was still slightly amused at his inappropriate and borderline racist comment. But, when he said Rick Bayless could go screw himself (or whatever he said), I actually got a little mad, as evidenced in my notes from last night, in which I wrote in response to that statement: "I'll cut you." I think that sums up my feelings for him, and the entire Red Team, during the Elimination Challenge. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

As far as the actual Quickfire Challenge food goes, I liked Richard's jicama taco shell idea. Apparently, I'm one of the few people that likes him, even though he is a little Season 1 Stephen-esque, I'll give his haters that. I thought Spike's pork taco taco looked good, too, albeit not fine-dining good, although I was kind of annoyed at his, "I'm not going to be someone I'm not." What does that even mean? Of course you're who you are...if you weren't you'd be someone else. Plus, he was wearing that stupid hat too (douche-y hat #2 alert), so, apparently, he was trying to be someone else. Namely, Ashlee Simpson. Andrew's taco looked good (duck, in a taco shell, what's NOT to like?), too but he's still freaking me out, what with his twitching and excessive blinking and mood swings. I think Manuel got screwed there - his chorizo taco looked awesome. I bet it was delicious, too, I thought for sure he would get a top mention, since we're still at the stage where the editors only show the best and worst of the Quickfire.

Elimination Challenge:
My overall thoughts can be summed up in one important sentence from my notes: "I really hate Erik - I hope he goes home." Although, I guess I should replace "Erik" with "the whole Red Team." They were acting all cocky and D-baggy from the start. Even Hot!Ryan. Spike (I think) telling the other team that the one house was cleaned out was low,too. I can't believe that was the last we heard of it. I definitely though someone would bring it up during Judge's Table. I will say that the producers MUST have sent people into the neighborhood ahead of time to let those poor people know random chefs would be busting into their houses and taking their food. They all had way too much nice food laying around, even with block party cooking going on. I would definitely NOT have let anyone in my house to take my food. Ever. Except Hot!Ryan. But I would force him to stay in my house and cook for me. Also, that one woman who let them take her wine - wow. Bitch is crazy. I would NEVER let anyone take my wine. Unless it was Hot!Ryan and he stayed and drank it with me.

Onto the Sniff n' Sneer! My favorite part was Tom C. making fun of the "Sexy Drink" by being surprised that lavender is "sexy" now. Also, did anyone else find the drink name somewhat inappropriate for an event with a lot of children? My second favorite part was Tom's sneer at Erik when Erik said his team would win because of the "heart" they're putting into everything. Also, it was quite foreboding to see him ask about the breading on the corn dog and predict the sogginess that would transpire. Nikki, too, though, she really has no business being there. That mac and cheese was a mistake from the beginning, how is pasta ever good after it sits and is reheated? And, am I wrong, or did I hear her say she added salt to the mac and cheese to help moisten it? Because, I'm not going to lie to you, if she really added salt, she has no business even being a chef. Salt draws moisture OUT of products. It doesn't provide moisture TO the product.

Overall EC food notes: When Padma dropped her marshmallow onto Ted's shoe, I nearly lost it. I love Ted Allen and his, "you're going to get the bill for that" was awse. You know he's wearing some fancy-ass shoes, even to a block party. Plus, Ted wins with the comment of the night, "Thank God we got some sausage in there." All together now: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

I think, overall, the Blue Team's food was better. Nikki should be thanking the "Top Chef" gods that she was on the winning team, because that bought her an extra week. I'll call it right now. She's going home in the next three weeks. Probably next week. Dale's pork skewers looked really tasty, as did the not-a-paella. Thinking about it now, I guess the Blue Team did go a little more upscale, which is what (I think) the judges were hoping to see after the Quickfire. The Red Team really thought they were going to win, the poor bastards. Nope. Pork skewers and sliders can't save you now...

I will say, though, that this was a tough challenge because they did have to cook for kids, adults, and the judges, and I can see how the would have struggled to balance food that appeals to kids and also appeals to the judges, who've eaten all over the world. But, having said that, it seemed more like the food they made was just bad in general, not inappropriate for the setting. If you make a macaroni and cheese, using Velveeta, make it good. Not just passable, you know, good enough for kids and "Middle America" with their "unrefined palates." Pasta salad can be delicious and very inventive. Don't complain about being stuck with it, then not say anything about it to the rest of your team, and make a crappy one to boot. It always shocks me (maybe that says something about me, I should have learned by now) when the chefs try to make just "OK" food and expect to win. You should be balls to the wall each challenge. You're on TV for God's sake! Try your hardest! Make the best street food you can!

I think the judges made the right call. The Blue Team did seem to do better, and I'm really glad Stephanie won. She really has a great way of just slightly changing a dish, to keep it familiar, yet reinvent it as something different and tasty! As far as the Red Team, I don't know what to say. On the message boards and blogs, some people seem to think their pissy reaction was due to the judges being overly harsh. I actually didn't get that at all. I think the judges were just upset because the quality of the food was so bad. I thought it was completely out of left field when the men-folk on the Red Team started talking back to the judges. Especially Spike. And, clearly, Andrew, but I expected that from his crazy-ass. The best part of that scene was Tom covering his mouth to prevent us from seeing his smirk in reaction to Andrew ranting about having to be dragged out by security. It narrowly beat out Ted Allen summing up my thoughts, by telling them they were "condescending to the crowd."

And, as I had hoped for earlier, Erik was sent home. Good riddance. Crappy attitude. Stupid hat. Overly angry expression in all "Top Chef" related promotional materials. I also enjoyed how he had to clarify that his career wasn't over now that he'd been kicked off the show. As if anyone would assume so. Whatever dude. take your hat and go back to SF. I will go eat your lobster corndog if I'm ever there, though. It does sound delicious.

Assorted random thoughts:
Did Andrew cursing in front of the children after he threw that ball at the dunk tank?
Nikki, why would you ad SALT to moisten the Mac and Cheese?
Hot!Ryan has cute dimples, but he's kind of a DB.
And, here are a few more takes on the episode:
This one, I agree with.
This is more amusing than anything else.
Another one.

Next week - Daniel Boulud! Hot!Ryan makes fun of cracked-out Andrew! More lesbian drama!