The Lamb is Good, the Liquor is Deadly

Live Blogging Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations - "Greek Islands"

I'm loving the relaxing sound of small waves splashing against the shore instead of the usual music.
Crete:
So far Anthony's insulted most of the Greek population, calling their Mousaka disgusting, the people fat, and saying it looks like a Dress Barn exploded onto the entire population. I'm excited to see the aftermath of this episode.

OK, first meal looks delicious, lots of lemon, olive oil, lime, greens, and INNARDS!! Tony's (not so much my) favorite. I think he might be in trouble, though...that Raki looks deadly. Now he's just doing shots and eating lamb...uh oh, the entertainment (live music) is starting. Abort Mission, Tony, ABORT! Anytime Tony's hosts start with the live music and copious amounts of liquor, morning after takes an ugly turn. He's not listening...too late. Well, at least he looks like he's having a good time.

Next day, he's referencing "blowing chunks" and calls the coffee "crunchy." Rough night, much? He's going on some type of field trip...oh, wait, they're going to slaughter a sheep! Good Times! (I can't look, oh, it's not too bad, wait, maybe it is...no, it's bad...no, it's OK, yes, maybe...yeah, um, NO!. It's OK). Now they're skewering that mofo and grilling him up, including a special delicacy, small intestine stuffed with spleen. Oh, they busted out the Raki!! Tony looks thrilled. They literally have the Raki in one of those plastic containers you have to use when you transport gasoline. The insulting starts again - he calls the Raki antifreeze! Now, they're shooting firearms, doing some kind of a jig, and playing music...looks like another rough night. Why do all the men just hang out together, drink and dance?

Apparently the Germans stripped Greece of any and all food after WWII, the people could only survive on greens. Apparently, they did and now are the focus of numerous nutritional studies. Wow. This family dinner looks tremendous. They're actually just plucking greens from the ground and cooking them. Delicious.

Oh! The sea urchin! Raw! Ha! An old man is feeding him bread with olive oil. What's with the HoYay in this episode? Oh, great, they're giving him more Rika. He just said, "kissing the night goodbye." Good call, Tony. Maybe the greens will save you...yeah, not so much, the music is starting - a cell phone ringtone. Surly Tony's back! He just called Rika "battery acid wall."

The making of phyllo:
Flour, water and oil. Roll that bitch out as thin as you can. Use for a thick breakfast - fill with ricotta-like cheese. Bake. Eat. Take nap. The warning against smoking sign, with the package of cigarettes with syringe and bottle = Tony's early years! Ha!

The Trip to the Ionian Islands:
Tony + guide have a deep, philosophical discussion about Greek mentality (live everyday to its last, all-or-nothing mentality) and beautiful (obligatory) shots of the sunset over the ocean.There we go...Tony's sleeping off the cheese-filled phyllo. Oh, score! Looks like bigger firearms are coming up!

Ionian Islands:
Quail hunting! (Wait, this reminds me of something:

)

Tony with gun! Dog Caesar! Oh holy crap! That quail exploded when Tony shot it. Like Randy Johnson pitching into that bird...literally a pile of feathers and nothing else left.

Ah, the ubiquitous local meal. With INNARDS! Stuffed spleen! Rabbits they chase around in the backyard, trap and kill! What's with the excessive animal slaughter? What's our tally now? Sheep, quail, rabbit, and I guess we can count that sea urchin they ripped open straight out of the water. Ha! Tony's hunting skills are being questioned. Seemingly, there wasn't enough left of the bird after he shot it to make a meal. Hey, wait, why aren't they drinking some kind of battery-acid alcohol with some kind of animal intestine or frog carcass decaying inside? This might be the first time during this show there was no disgusting liquor. Or dancing.

Shipwreck Beach:
More music! And dancing! More killing! An octopus has been dispatched. Oh GOD, that fish stew looks amazing! Oh whatever, the whole meal looks amazing. More dancing! Frolicking! More Rika! At least there aren't any firearms around...

I'm so depressed. Let's go to Greece right now. What's better than lemon, olive oil, bitter greens, and fish so fresh they actually squeeze the lemon over themselves before you eat them?