Tuesday, April 15, 2008

And now, the Yankees

The battle of the old guys: Dave Winfield vs. Bernie Williams.

Yes, I know BMG, shut it: Dave Winfield is the only person ever to be drafted into three different professional sports after college (MLB - San Diego Padres, NBA - Atlanta Hawks, and NFL - Minnesota Vikings), thereby making him the BEST ATHLETE EVER. Especially since he didn't even play football in college.

Clearly, he's incredibly large and would probably beat you into submission if you chose not to like him. Also, his legs are the actual size of tree trunks.

Career Stats:
Average - .283
hits - 3110
RBI - 1833
HR - 465
12 All-star appearances
7 Gold Gloves
1 World Series win
Total Games - 2973

But, then there's Bernie Williams. So cute. So nice. He plays the acoustic guitar, ladies...plus, All-Star center fielder, beautiful swing, long, long, legs (they seem to extend out of his chin!). And, he looks like this:

And this:

(Look at that swing)

Career Stats:
Average - .297
Hits - 2336
RBI - 1257
HR - 287
5 All-star appearances
4 Gold Gloves
4 World Series wins
Total Games - 1925

You know what, Dave does have better numbers, but he played in 1000 more games than Bern. Dave's All-Star appearances are impressive, but so are Bernie's 4 World Series Wins and overall post-season performance. Bernie has an album...can you say that about Dave? Bottom line, I just like Bernie more...I always have and always will. Therefore, you should like him more, too.

Need more convincing? Would you ever choose to love a baseball player wearing this:

Does he really think he's going to play baseball while wearing snow shoes and what appears to be a whole polar bear carcass he killed (with his bare hands) and draped jauntily around his neck, just before the photograph was taken?
That is all.

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